Top 40 Bad Songs
So we're cleaning the house tonight and I heard an old song coming from the TV that took me back to my high school days. It's sung with angst and heartache; you could see the emotional pain wafting through the house.
Whatever it takes... or how my heart breaks... I'll be right here waiting for you...
Ah, Richard Marx. With that hair and those pained expressions. There was a countdown on VH1. I wasn't sure what the criteria was. Best love songs, maybe? Sharon said to me gently, "I don't think it's a best of countdown..."
And how right she was. I was watching VH1's 40 Most Awesomely Bad #1 Songs.
Ouch. Now, I am willing to admit that Right Here Waiting is not a great song. But Awesomely Bad? I don't know about that. A little while later, they had Billy Ocean's Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car on. Yeah, that one is pretty bad. Although I admit to singing it loudly way back when.
But then. Then. Those bastards at VH1 showed their stupidity.
INVISIBLE TOUCH!?
That's a great song. Morons. Well, they can get one wrong, I guess. But the insanity didn't end there. In short order, they proclaimed Wild, Wild West by Escape Club, Owner of a Lonely Heart by Yes, and The Look by Roxette awesomely bad. I am sorry, but those are damn good songs. Especially Owner of a Lonely Heart. Come on, it's Yes!
I should have turned off the TV when they had the gall to suggest that I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner is not the best power ballad of all time.
You want to know who was left off the list? New Kids on the Block. N Sync. Backstreet Boys. Brittney Spears. Yeah, all their stuff is classic, right? Give me a break.
I admit I did agree with their top pick for Most Awesomely Bad #1 Song - Macarena. There is no redeeming musical aspect to that song. (We got married in 1996. For some reason, the Macarena was played not once, but twice at our reception. Amazingly, huge numbers of guests got up and danced the damn thing. Twice.)
Here's the whole list (with asteriks by the songs I don't think belong):
Macarena [River Remix 103 BPM] Los Del Rio
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla Ice
That's What Friends Are For Dionne Warwick
Physical Olivia Newton-John
*Eye of the Tiger Survivor
*Believe Cher
Blame It on the Rain Milli Vanilli
Kokomo The Beach Boys
The Sign Ace of Base
*Hello Lionel Richie
Wannabe Spice Girls
*Stuck With You Huey Lewis
I'm Too Sexy Right Said Fred
I Think We're Alone Now Tiffany
*I Want to Know What Love Is Foreigner
*Got My Mind Set on You George Harrison
It Wasn't Me [Punch Mix] Shaggy
*More Than Words Extreme
Rock Me Amadeus Falco
Good Vibrations Marky Mark
Opposites Attract Paula Abdul
*Abracadabra Steve Miller
MMMBop Hanson
*Owner of a Lonely Heart Yes
*The Look Roxette
*The Next Time I Fall Peter Cetera
Together Forever Rick Astley
*Wild, Wild West Escape Club
All 4 Love Color Me Badd
*Invisible Touch Genesis
Lost in Your Eyes Deborah Gibson
Goodies Ciara
*Maneater Hall & Oates
Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car Billy Ocean
Unbelievable EMF
*Right Here Waiting Richard Marx
Informer Snow
*Celebration Kool & the Gang
(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection Nelson
Can't Nobody Hold Me Down Puff Daddy
posted by Matt @ 1:11 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Sorry but Escape Club loses extra points for a self-reference in their first single.
But at least they didn't go as over the top as Falco did, counting the days of Mozart's life and then, IN CONCLUSION, presenting himself as the Final Achievement in Western Culture:
"1985: Austrian Rock Singer Falco Records
ROCKMEAMADEUSROCKROCKROCKMEAMADEUS!!!!"
Milli Vanilli: too easy a pick. Where's the sense of HISTORY? Where's the perspective? Where, dear God, is "Billy Don't Be A Hero"? Is this limited to the video era?
I love Billy Don't Be a Hero. Seriously. It's a singing in the car on long road trips favorite.
sorry but I see very few on that list I don't agree with, but don't get me wrong I love some of them as well. Sometimes bad songs can be a lot of fun and god knows they can be catchy but deep down you just know they are a guilty pleasure.
So which ones are the few you don't agree with? I am curious! I know what you mean about guilty pleasures... it's just I decided to relieve myself of the guilt. ;-)
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